brighteclipse

Hey people :D

Ok first let me get this out of the way - I'm sorry I've been MIA .  As far as RP, I decided to stay MIA because I don't think it's fair for me to continue to dissappear. I do miss RP - and I miss talking with all of you, so I figure if I'm not going to RP I can at least talk to you all via LJ or messangers or what have you.

Now - I have a question and I thought I would put it to you all for consideration as I've done with so many other questions before-  I was in a pub tonight (I've been in Spain for a bit now)  surrounded by seemingly super friendly people. Untill I met some people (not going to mention where these gentlemen were from, but I will say they were not Spanish) who decided that they couldn't talk to me just because I'm from the USA. Like, no joke, they pretty much lectured me for a few minutes about "typical Americans" and walked away. I don't understand. 1) What did I personally do to deserve such coldness? I was just trying to be friendly and talk to some people (and aren't we "typical Americans" supposed to go and learn about other countries? Isn't that supposed to be one of our biggest faults?)  2) How do you know I'm a "typical American" if you won't let me say two words?  3) Is it really necessary to make some random girl in a pub feel bad when she's just having fun with friends and not causing trouble?  He was super adimant about "typical Americans" and yadda yadda. I got so offended I invented some excuse to get my freinds out of the bar (I said I wanted food or something. Can't remember exactly what I said but we ended up getting pizza haha).

I've never, ever in my life felt bad about being an American... on a personal level. Sure I was embarassed about Bush but not on a personal level. Hey, I'll be honest I didn't vote for him. I've never felt descriminated against personally. I found myself tired of having to make excuses for "my country". Excuse me, I don't run it ok? If you have a problem, e-mail Obama because I have very little power.

So, my question is this - when did being from the USA become a crime? I've never in my life felt discriminated against untill tonight and it's not an ok feeling. I don't understand - I would never, ever rag on someone just because of where they are from. When did that become ok? This is completely new to me and I've lived in Europe, and South America, and I have "latina" roots (my last name is Hispanic so of course I must be from Mexico and speak perfect Spanish, right?)   0.0  .... what is happening?

My mind- it's blown. 0.0 Can any of you guys offer some insight, because I'm just lost here?

Now, I will try to continue writing on LJ at least because I do miss you all - I just won't pretend that I'll be RPing much anymore. :/

What a good week  so far :) .

1- It looks like I'm all set for graduation. Finally!!!
2- got a grant ^_^
3- No more roomate from MARS!!
4- Found a kid to tutor which helps with the whole being unemployed thing.

So, I've moved back in with my parents. My mom brought me boxes two Saturdays ago, and this past Saturday we moved everything into their basement. A huge, giganic weight has been lifted from my shoulders!

WHY would I do such a silly thing, you ask? Well, a few reasons - I didn't know how I was going to pay rent this month because the job hunt is no good.  Also, I should save some money before I try this whole living on my own thing again. Last but not least, if I dont find an amazing teaching gig, I'm taking my 'lil self to Spain. Yup. college almost kicked my butt, so I figure I've earned the right for a little adventure, right? So, this way if I go to Spain I can leave my crap at my parents house.  :)

Why Spain, you ask? I will tell you. I was there for about a week when I was litle and I have to say, I can't imagine a cooler place and I'd absolutely love the chance to experience it for real, as an adult.  I'd get a job teaching English, of course. I wouldn't just bumb around Spain. That's not my style.

That's my plan.

I also plan on getting new glasses tomorrow. I'm way excited becaue I love getting new frames ^_^ it's fun! A good pair of glasses can change your whole look!

It's not all sunshine and rainbows though - my Ethics class is going to kill me. My prof sprang an extra text on us last week and I didn't have the money to buy it - so now I'm completely lost. I tried to get it from the library, but they didn't have it. On top of which, all we do in class is read from it... but we dont' read entire sections of it, no, we have to read little bits from here and there so that doesn't help me either. It would if I had read stuff before class, but I can't get ahold of the book.

But wait, there's more:

This professor is maybe a little bit older than me, and can't form a coherent sentence. He's always interupting himself. I took a " you know" count one day - he said it 63 times in the course of an hour. He'll say it after everything! He'll be like - " this book ..... ............... you know............. is really important to philosophy because, you know, it's the first work....the first....you know......Utilitarian work."  It's redicuoulous. It makes him really hard to understand. I sent out an e-mail to my classmates to see if anyone wanted to start a study group. We'll see. I think that would really help. Hahaha on the first day of class, my Ethics professor told us he'd taught the prince of Abu Dabi or something 0.0 . What? Oh well, maybe I'll get a cool study group out of the whole thing and we can be like the people on Community ^_^ ... I love that show!

So, around New Years, I decided that 2010 was going to be the best year ever. I decided that since I'm graduating in May, and then either starting my career as a teacher, or taking the time to go off on an adventure (if I don't get any good offers) , that this was going to be MY year. So I started thinking about all of the things that made 2008 and 2009 NOT my years. I found that the biggest problem was my current living situation. I hate having to make ends meet, I hate my apartment, and I hate my roomate. I suppose that's what I get for having been in such a rush to get out of the house. Anyhow, I set up lunch with my Step-dad today so that I could talk about moving back home. Well he was receptive to the idea and now I have to pack :) . I'm so relieved to be getting away from my roomate, and paying rent, and the stress of living with someone who you have nothing in common with.

I don't regret moving out. I learned a lot about myself. I learned a lot about "the real world".  I also know better what I need to do for when I move out again. I really thought if I ever have to move back home I'd feel really badly about it, but all I feel right now is relief. I haven't even talked to my roomate about moving out yet because I half expected my step-dad to say no. I will be able to look back on the last three years of my life and laugh, and I couldn't be more excited that this phaze of my life is over.

I really think 2010 is going to be a great year :)

Tales from apt. #12:

Wednesday night, January 27, 2010 

aprox. 20:15 hr,  ....


Let us first consider the fact that I am a huge American Idol fan ( lame, I know).  Thusly, I was in the living room of the apartment, watching said reality show, because that's where the DVR is located, and I had recorded the show so that I could go out last night with some friends, and not miss Idol. Now, I got through the first episode with no problems. That's when my roomate came home. Spending time with the roomate is very seldomly a good thing.

So, we finished watching Idol, which ruined it. Firstly, we got into an argument over the following situation.

A man auditioned. He happened to be a pastor of his community by day, and an amature singer by night. So, he sang his bit, and the judges got their say. Now, the guest judge was Averil Lavign ( or however you spell that), and she admited that the guy had a great voice, but she voted no on him because he was a pastor and she didn't see how this man could become a pop star and continue being a pastor.  My thoughts were that 1) it's a singing competition and she admitted that he had a good voice,     
                                  2) This man is a grown-up, if he wants to give up being a preacher, or try to do both, that's his problem and should 
                                        have no merrit in the judge's decision.
I told this to my roomate and he was like, " it show's maturity on Avril's part because she's looking at the big picture. She's thinking of this man's community. He has big responsibilities."  My thought was that it's the contestan's problem, not Avril Lavign's and she should only be thinking of his singing voice, as it's a singing competition. My roomate was like "it's a valid point! Trust me you'll agree with me in 10 years." Ummm....no, I won't, and don't patronize me. He was impressed with her for "pointing these things out". It's none of her business, right? It's a SINGING competition, not a "do you have your life together" competition.  PLUS the guy got through to Hollywood anyhow, so he probably didn't even hear what she said and my roomate was like -" it doesn't matter if he heard or not!" Well, if it's a valid point, but he didn't hear...doesn't that make it also moot? I mean, I certainly don't care, the point doesn't apply to me.

THEN a very flamboyant individual auditioned, and did some dancing as well. My roomate proceeded to yell obsinities at the T.V like - "pussy", and "faggot" (forgive the language). He yelled these words a lot. He was also like, " that's what women do!" (referring to the dancing and posing). He was also all - " that's not a man!".  I was getting pretty offended by his lack of tollerance, not to mention tact. One of my very best friends is gay, and arguably one of the most awesome people I know. Also, I normally don't get offended by people saying things like that, but he said it over and over and over and over and was getting really adament about it. Eventually he was like - " I'm sorry, but that kid's rediculous."  to which I replied, ' He sure can't sing, but I'm sensing a lot of hostility toward gay people coming from you." He proceeded to tell me about all the gay and lesbians he's known and "been nice to."  I think he's gay and won't admit it to himself. He's been "seeing" this girl for like two months now, which is a long enough in my book to have established some sort of idea of what's going on. He claims he's just going to hang back and not "push it". Ummm.... if she's still hanging out with you after two months, you're good. The entire time I've known him ( 3 years now) he's behaved as if he were afraid of women.

Ok what do you guys think -

 Was it wrong of the judge on Idol to say no based on the fact that she wasn't sure if he could be a pop-star and a preacher?


I also want to know how I came to live with such an intollerant, macho, condesending, closed minded guy.

 

                                   

So, now that I'm able to work again, I've been job hunting like a maniac. I had an interview on Tuesday, another one today, and I have another next Tuesday. I feel pretty good about the interview today. I would be canvasing (door to door stuff), but hey it pays well. The one I had on Tuesday was for a content writing position. Didn't get it, even though the guy said he " was impressed" with me, and called me a "sharp young lady". Hmmmm.  The one next Tuesday is for a position as a site monitor on campus. I'd basically be a receptionist. I'd be able to do my homework, I think. So, I'm positive I'll get the job I interviewed for today, and I'm sure I'll get the one on campus too. It's just a matter of figuring out which one pays best for the hours I'd be working. The canvasing one is also comission based, so my income would fluxuate. However, that would be a good thing if I can get a lot of interest. The other one is more hours and is stable. I would be able to count on so much a month. Maybe I could do them both. I don't know. I'm a little impatient because I need money. Now.

In an unrelated story, I started class this week. The first class is a study of William Blake. It required buying a very fancy art book o.o. I've taken other classes with the prof. before. He's awesome. Then there's Ethics, I've been trying to avoid taking this class.However, I get into class and I was thinking it wasn't so bad. The prof is a young guy (not particularly attractive, but cool seeming). However, as he lectures and what not, it becomes clear to me that the man can't form one coherant sentance. He goes off on random tangents, and he says "you know" after almost every word. I wanted to cry. THEN it turns out he requires three books, however only one of which he ordered at the bookstore. Now, even if you don't buy your books at the bookstore, they are the only way to figure out which books you need. So I went on line and ordered the one book that was listed. Not only did they list the wrong book, but now I need two more. WHAT? I'm mad.

Next, I had film studies. The professor is a clumsy old man, but very endearing. I think I'm going to like that class. I did have the right book for that one thank god!


That's what's goin on in my neck of the woods.


Oooo I did an awesome sketch. I'll scan it and share. I really want to get back into drawing. I've kind of stopped since high school and it's a shame, I think, to give up on someting I loved so much.

Anyhow.... Tia, over and out.

>.>  .........  <.<  ..............


So... apparently I'm still alive haha ^_^ .

I've been completely focused on student teaching. I don't know if you all remember, but my first attempt didn't go so very well. I've been feeling really badly about dropping off the face of the earth. I crawled under a rock pretty much, only coming out to complete round II of student teahing which went SO much better. I passed :) ! I didn't have a monster as an advisor, and that did amazing things for my grades haha. So, long story short, I can have a life again, and yes, be on line. On top of all that, I was having internet issues too. Not a good mix. I fixed that a while ago, but then came the ominous teacher work sample.  I hope that I'll be able to jump back in to RP, if people aren't too miffed at me >.> .  I've missed chatting with you all and I'm totally happy to be back on line :)


What I've been up to (I know you were wondering) :

Well, I totally bombed the first round of student teaching. There was nothing I could do to make my advisor happy, so I took an incomplete as my grade and decided to try again. The second semester was much better. I requested an adviser that I'd had as a professor - crazy little Puerto Rican lady named Carmen. She was a really cool prof, so I asked her if she would be my advisor and she obviously said yes. I also already knew the teacher I was working with, so all I had to worry about this time was getting my teacher work sample right. Last semester, after reading my work sample my advisor accused me of having a processing problem - meaning when people talk to me, I don't understand. I was completely insulted because nothing could be farther from reality, and needless to say I was a little concerned about teaching. I was also really worried about doing the work sample again. So, with the support of this crazy Puerto Rican lady, and my very nice host teacher, I got going on the work sample and was able to pass student teaching ^_^. They kept wondering why I was so worried about it - maybe it's because last time I had turned in a work sample, I had been called incompetent.

After some reflection on the first go'round here's my theory: My first advisor, Mr. Garcia, was so very type A. I know that I have a tendancy to drive type A people up the wall. I'm so very, very type B. I think I need to learn how to work with type A people better. I figred though, that if I kept my nose down he'd ignore me. So wrong.  My second adviser was possibly more type B than I am. She was always loosing things and forgetting suff. Hahaha.

Another Mr. Garcia anicdote:

After I had decided to take the incomplete, a meeting was heald between my cooperating teacher, myself, the student teaching coordinator, and Mr. Garcia. They had begun to talk about "how hard school must have been for me" after Garcia accused me of having a processing problem, and so I brought up that my grades in college were pretty good (I was pretty proud of myself, not to mention the fact that to even be in the teacher ed program you need at least a 3.0). To this Mr. Garcia replied "I have your grades in front of me, you want to say that again?" I didn't say anything for two reasons: one, I thought to myself  "aha, now the coordinator can see Garcia in his full jerk mode and she will realize what I've been dealing with." The second reason was that when I had tried to defend myself to him prior, he just got bigger, meaner, and louder. That seemed completely counter productive to me so I let him be a jerk and just hung on for dear life while the storm blew past. I was pleasently surprised when the coordinator shut him up- she said "well, she's met the GPA requirement, so let's move on".  I can only hope that he got into trouble after the coordinator saw that.

This man was boarderline abusive toward me, so I went to evaluate him so that the college would know, but he was not on the system. So then I asked the coordinator for a review form, and I never got one. I think the school is protecting him for whatever reason. My hope was to get that jerk fired, so I filed a formal complaint, but I have never seen any results. I've tried to follow up too. Nada.


So that is what you have all missed. I hope I have not missed too much XD

ZOMG the RE:  for this is even better!

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to 15 people you like and include me. (Pff YEAH RIGHT) You can't use the band I used. Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think! Repost as "my life according to (band name)"

So like..... it's really hard to not repeat songs when there are only like 12 of them and a ton of questions!!!!! RAWR

Pick your Artist:
Tempo Shark  ( Hahahaha a doubt any of you will be tempted to use the same artist as meee )

Are you a male or female:
Little White Lie

Describe yourself:
Joy

How do you feel:
Don't Mess With Me

Describe where you currently live:
Not Big

If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
Paris

Your favorite form of transportation:
Battleships

Your best friends are:
Knock Me Out

You and your best friends:
Neon Question Mark

What's the weather like:
Winter's Coming

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called:
Invisible Ink

What is life to you:
You Complete Me
God I pray you find me worthy / Of the right to stand beside you / And of your truth and of your passion / Of the right to sleep beside you

last relationship:
Blame

Your fear:
Crime

is the best advice you have to give:
It's Better to Have Loved\

for the Day:
Change Something

I would like to die:
Don't Mess With Me

soul's present condition:
Not That Big

My motto:

It's Better To Have Loved

So I had the weirdest dream:

I dreamed that I died. I was hit by a huge van or some such. I don't think the dream was concerned with the imidiate aftermath of the colision as the next thing I know, I realize I've died and now I have to tell everyone I care about that I'm dead. I think first came mom. She could see and hear me..but I was still dead. I remember it was really really sad though we made plans to hang out the following Sunday like we usualy do. Then came the guy I was dating in my dream. He couldn't see me, so I wrote with red maker on the pages of the book he happened to be reading. He responded by writing as well... though I started to vanish. I couldn't even see myself anymore and the marker started fading too along with the writing. I took off back to my apartment. I think I remember that all of my stuff was still there, but there were also a few things belonging to the new tennant that was in the process of moving in. Apparently this person also had two cats. There was also my cat ( that I don't have anymore IRL  :(  ) ...and I had to keep her ( I got the distinct feeling that it was a female moving in) cats and mine seperate or they faught. Then, last, came my best friend from middle/high school ( who I've been hanging out with a lot recently). She and some guy were carring a billion bags of groceries each and I just happened to run into them on the street like that. They could see me, so I told my friend what was going on and she set her groceries down and I think she was crying.... but then I woke up. I didn't wake up crying ( has that ever happened to you? I hate that.), but I was still shaken. I hate dreams that leave you all disoriented and you still feel whatever you were feeling in the dream....

I've had a few dreams where I die before, but I never actually get past that. I normally wake up right after I die.

0.0

At least it wasn't the weird dream I have sometimes where all my teeth fall out and I'm all ashamed because of it. I hate that one too.

           So I was sitting in class this morning, and our Prof. was going on and on about the Japanese camps during WW II. Ok, I'm no history geek but I agree that it's something that America needs to talk about, and refrain from pretending that it didn't happen. the woman I sit next to leans over to me and tells me all about how FEMA is conducting this exercize starting next month - she called it a " border lockdown" or something. Apparently it's just supposed to be an exercize conducted by FEMA - apparently they do it every year - to check our emergency responce systems and what not should there be a disaster. Ok well apparently this year they're inviting Mexico, Canada, and the U.K.  Apparently they're making a push for private citicenz to get involved as well though citizen corps.  She's all like " what are they prepairing for?" .... sounded a little sketchy to me - very conspiracy theory. Now, what I can't verify - she said that camps were already being put together. I wanna know - who for? The exercize is supposed to be stricly against terrorism, yes? So does that mean that shortly here we will be pushing people of middle eastern origin into camps? She also was talking about how she suspected that people who wouldn't get the swine flue shot would be pushed in too. What??

I decided I wanted to know a little more because I thought she sounded like a nutbar. This is what I've found so far:

www.infowars.com/fema-web-page-shows-martial-law-exercise-with-foreign-troops/

Apparently she has this PDF. she want's me to read too. I'm curious, so I guess I'll read it when she sends it to me but....

Anyhow, what are you're guys' thoughts? Conspiracy theory or legit? Is this just another case of the govornment pushing the fear factor?